20th April 2014 – Annual Worldwide Love Your Penis And Vagina Day

 

Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina

20th April 2014

Annual Worldwide Love Your Penis And Vagina Day

Heads, shoulders, penis, toes, penis, toes.

Heads, shoulders, penis, toes, penis, toes.

And eyes, and ears, and mouth and nose.

Heads, shoulders, penis, toes, penis, toes.

How did this make you feel?

I know how this makes my sons and I feel.

We cringe.  We laugh.  We are embarrassed.

Penis is a word that should NEVER be uttered in public.

Let’s think of a few other words;  vagina, testicles, vulva, labia, scrotum, breasts, nipples.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I am not about to get naked and walk the streets.  It’s just that I am sick of worrying about my sons, aged 7 and 9, saying these words in public.  They are words that describe parts of a living creature’s anatomy.

I am really angry that my sons’ anatomy is considered sexual and sexualised.

To change the way we think and talk about our anatomy will probably take a cultural revolution.

It will certainly require us to remove ‘adult’ channels from TV.  And ‘adult’ magazines from the shops.   And DEFINITELY remove women’s breasts from a national newspaper!!

This is where my expertise in this matter expires.

I only know how this subject makes me feel.

How I feel about my sons’ embarrassment when talking about mammals, anatomy, reproduction, love and relationships.  How I want them to be humans who love other humans unconditionally.

But is this more to do with us as individuals.  How we have evolved intellectually.

I really do  believe that culturally we have evolved beyond humanity and animalism.

We remove our humanity by shaving our armpits and waxing our legs.   By coiffing our hair and carrying expensive handbags made from the skin of a cow.

Now, take a step back.  Imagine a tiny human being.  Just been born from his mother’s vagina.   One of the most beautifully explicit and moving experiences we can witness.

Imagine his tiny penis as he pees his first urine.  What a sight to behold.  Everyone cheers!

At what age does this become sexualised.  At what age does this image become a commodity.  At what age does he know to hide this part of himself and be ashamed.

Because this is our reality.  Everything has a price.  An image of a penis or a vagina has a price.

Sex is a dirty word.

Penis is a dirty word.

Vagina is a dirty word.

On the BBC website when you search the word ‘vagina’ there is only one result in Learning.  The subject heading is ‘On the Blob’ and it is aimed at teenagers.  Really?!  I mean, seriously, this is how we want teenagers to refer to women’s’ menstrual cycle.  (Read it here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/body/articles/lifecycle/teenagers/periods.shtml)

I couldn’t find anything useful about the penis.

How about love?

Shall we talk about how we feel about love?

Is it chocolates and roses once a year?

Is it between a man and a woman,  who get married in a church and get pregnant on their honeymoon in the Seychelles?

Who sold us this story?  Where did it originate?

Is it a myth that we are taught to believe?

Is it really the way things should be?

But why?

What if all men and women were really bi-sexual?

What would happen then?

What fills me with dejection and shame is my useless, ugly, human body.  I don’t even see myself as human.  Just useless.  Broken.  Horrendous periods.  Lots of awful, painful sex.  Two complicated hospital births.  And finally, relief, when I had a total hysterectomy and oophorectomy at 37 years old.  Finally, freedom.

I hate to look in the mirror.  I hate to look at my body.  I hate other people looking at my body.  I hate sex.  I hate being married.

But what if I loved myself?  What if I loved my body, my hair, my vagina, my pubic hair, my underarm hair?

People would say that I was egotistical.  Or an unfeminine hippy lesbian if I cut my hair short and didn’t shave my legs and armpits.

Egotism:  an inflated sense of self-importance.  Selfish.  Self-centred.

Inflated….hmmm…..what comes between self-hatred and egotism?

I certainly believe that I care a lot for others well-being.  But I also recognise that I need to stop hating myself so, as a parent, my children can model healthy behaviour.

The interesting thing is that there really is no way of describing a healthy attitude to oneself.

If you look up the word ‘self-esteem’ in the dictionary you get two, contradictory, explanations in the same place.

Self-esteem:  a realistic respect or favourable impression of oneself; self-respect.

Self-esteem:  an inordinately or exaggeratedly favourable impression of oneself.

I feel I am on a doomed mission with this article.  I wanted to find a reason, an explanation, for why penis and vagina are rude words.  I wanted to find a way forward.  I wanted to change your attitude and your feelings so you don’t view your penis or vagina in such a derogatory fashion.

However, I have found myself writing about self-esteem.

But maybe this is the point.

We are human beings.  Mammals.  Animals.

Except for you very special IVF babies out there, most us were created when a man’s penis entered a woman’s vagina during sexual intercourse.  His semen fertilised her egg and entered her womb.  All of us grew in a woman’s womb until we were born into the world.

We were born as individuals.  Separate from our mother and father.

We were born with a vagina, or a penis, or both.  They are actually quite miraculous and very interesting feats of amazing engineering.  You can read ALL about them here on Wikipedia (it felt quite naughty typing penis and vagina into Wiki!)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_penis

Maybe if we start loving the most personal and private parts of ourselves, we can find a way to love the rest of ourselves.

If you are an enlightened soul who already loves your vagina/penis, please ignore my ranting and accept my love.  And maybe share your wisdom freely in the comments section below.

I now declare 20th April 2014 the Annual Worldwide Love Your Penis And Vagina Day!

I’m putting it in my diary and will get cards made up for next year that I can sell for an extortionate profit – lol!

Lots of love and blessings, Grace Savannah Thomas (formerly Joanna Perandin)

Flying by the seat of my pants

After two years of waiting and worrying.  After 10 years of birthing and parenting.  Trauma and joy.  Up and down.  All in preparation for a spiritual and personal transformation.

The Universe has answered my prayers and over the last 12 months I have met the most wonderful like-minded souls.  Lots of them!

My relationships with old friends, new friends and family have becoming much more open and loving.

I am grateful.  I am thankful.  I am honestly relieved.

I have been in a dark place where every day has been a battle towards the light.

I believed that I was inadequate.   Pathetic.  Ineffective.  A loser.

Nothing anyone did or said could change these deep-rooted feelings of anger and hatred towards myself. 

On the outside, smiley, bubbly, extrovert, confident and quick to jump in and ‘fix’ everyone.

Exhausting.

But, this was necessary.   I needed to be humble.  I needed to be grateful.  But mostly I needed to heal.

My life so far has been very challenging.  More than my fair share.

A New Year, A New Moon

I have been a very busy bee lately;  parties, an astrology group, a visit to the spiritualist church, plus I started a monthly kids club on 28th December.

2014 is already chocca block of exciting weekend activities until the end of July; kids club every 2nd Saturday of the month, choir once a month, CJs 40th party in January, rugby at Wembley stadium in March, my 40th birthday in May,  Glastonbury festival for 8 days in June, Monty Python in July plus Mum is starting a new support group for anyone suffering from illness, disability or just loneliness, and I am starting a monthly crafting circle!!!  I’m out of breath just reading it!!!

But, the great thing about all this is that I am doing all of these things for fun, and most importantly through choice.

I’m really looking forward to this year.  I have plans to record this year in my blog and also to have a memory jar, where we can all put little notes of happy things that happen this year (at the end of 2014, I will empty the jar and make a collage of all the notes).

I also spent many quiet hours on Friday (while the kids were next door)  working on the 2014 banner that we started at kids club.

image

Last Friday night,  I went to the Woking Astrology Group and had a very insightful chat with experienced astrologer and healer, Sharon Galliford.  Over the course of the evening she explained elements of my life and personlity based on which planets were in which house and sign at the exact time I was born.  It was absolutely spot on!

I also chatted to others about the transits of planets and that one in particular (Pluto or Uranus?) has really affected my energy levels over the last two years, leading to fatigue and depression.   Life has been totally different since 2011 when I had a hysterectomy,  was diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and then suddenly lost my job at Unilever.  This time though, has allowed me to support my Grandma through terminal cancer, to discover home education and create a loving family home, and to invest time in things like the Shakti Sings choir.

I am now studying the basics of astrology and I hope that I will be able to use it as a tool to understand myself, my kids, hubby, friends and family through their natal charts.   I would then like to use it to map out all the dramas that have happened in my life and give it all meaning, perspective and an understanding of the jigsaw puzzle of my life.

I really believe that astrology will be an excellent tool for understanding Mark, Louis and Sonny better and help us all focus on our innate abilities, using the energy of transiting planets.

This year I also hope to do some training.  I am starting with a ‘Skills teacher workshop’ at Disability Network Hounslow this Saturday.  I hope to do a course in ‘Soul Midwifery’ (helping others to have a good death) this year too.

Home education is going really well and the kids are really happy.  Especially with their new monthly kids club, where they get to have their friends and cousins over. 

I’m planning to spend some time this week helping the kids make a list of things they want to do this year.  Every step we take is giving them more autonomy and a sense of responsibilty for their own happiness.  I am the loving facilitator of their life and dreams.

This weekend, Louis and I even learnt about manifesting and visualization, to help him get a new laptop!

I’ve not mentioned much about my health as right now I am waiting to see a general surgeon about my suspected abdominal hernia.

Needless to say, PACING, is going to play a very important part this year.  Surgery, if needed, could slow me down for a bit but I am determined to climb Glastonbury Tor on my 40th birthday (4th May).  I am ordering perfect weather conditions for that weekend!

Wishing you all a happy and healthy 2014 xxxxx