20th April 2014
Annual Worldwide Love Your Penis And Vagina Day
Heads, shoulders, penis, toes, penis, toes.
Heads, shoulders, penis, toes, penis, toes.
And eyes, and ears, and mouth and nose.
Heads, shoulders, penis, toes, penis, toes.
How did this make you feel?
I know how this makes my sons and I feel.
We cringe. We laugh. We are embarrassed.
Penis is a word that should NEVER be uttered in public.
Let’s think of a few other words; vagina, testicles, vulva, labia, scrotum, breasts, nipples.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am not about to get naked and walk the streets. It’s just that I am sick of worrying about my sons, aged 7 and 9, saying these words in public. They are words that describe parts of a living creature’s anatomy.
I am really angry that my sons’ anatomy is considered sexual and sexualised.
To change the way we think and talk about our anatomy will probably take a cultural revolution.
It will certainly require us to remove ‘adult’ channels from TV. And ‘adult’ magazines from the shops. And DEFINITELY remove women’s breasts from a national newspaper!!
This is where my expertise in this matter expires.
I only know how this subject makes me feel.
How I feel about my sons’ embarrassment when talking about mammals, anatomy, reproduction, love and relationships. How I want them to be humans who love other humans unconditionally.
But is this more to do with us as individuals. How we have evolved intellectually.
I really do believe that culturally we have evolved beyond humanity and animalism.
We remove our humanity by shaving our armpits and waxing our legs. By coiffing our hair and carrying expensive handbags made from the skin of a cow.
Now, take a step back. Imagine a tiny human being. Just been born from his mother’s vagina. One of the most beautifully explicit and moving experiences we can witness.
Imagine his tiny penis as he pees his first urine. What a sight to behold. Everyone cheers!
At what age does this become sexualised. At what age does this image become a commodity. At what age does he know to hide this part of himself and be ashamed.
Because this is our reality. Everything has a price. An image of a penis or a vagina has a price.
Sex is a dirty word.
Penis is a dirty word.
Vagina is a dirty word.
On the BBC website when you search the word ‘vagina’ there is only one result in Learning. The subject heading is ‘On the Blob’ and it is aimed at teenagers. Really?! I mean, seriously, this is how we want teenagers to refer to women’s’ menstrual cycle. (Read it here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/body/articles/lifecycle/teenagers/periods.shtml)
I couldn’t find anything useful about the penis.
How about love?
Shall we talk about how we feel about love?
Is it chocolates and roses once a year?
Is it between a man and a woman, who get married in a church and get pregnant on their honeymoon in the Seychelles?
Who sold us this story? Where did it originate?
Is it a myth that we are taught to believe?
Is it really the way things should be?
But why?
What if all men and women were really bi-sexual?
What would happen then?
What fills me with dejection and shame is my useless, ugly, human body. I don’t even see myself as human. Just useless. Broken. Horrendous periods. Lots of awful, painful sex. Two complicated hospital births. And finally, relief, when I had a total hysterectomy and oophorectomy at 37 years old. Finally, freedom.
I hate to look in the mirror. I hate to look at my body. I hate other people looking at my body. I hate sex. I hate being married.
But what if I loved myself? What if I loved my body, my hair, my vagina, my pubic hair, my underarm hair?
People would say that I was egotistical. Or an unfeminine hippy lesbian if I cut my hair short and didn’t shave my legs and armpits.
Egotism: an inflated sense of self-importance. Selfish. Self-centred.
Inflated….hmmm…..what comes between self-hatred and egotism?
I certainly believe that I care a lot for others well-being. But I also recognise that I need to stop hating myself so, as a parent, my children can model healthy behaviour.
The interesting thing is that there really is no way of describing a healthy attitude to oneself.
If you look up the word ‘self-esteem’ in the dictionary you get two, contradictory, explanations in the same place.
Self-esteem: a realistic respect or favourable impression of oneself; self-respect.
Self-esteem: an inordinately or exaggeratedly favourable impression of oneself.
I feel I am on a doomed mission with this article. I wanted to find a reason, an explanation, for why penis and vagina are rude words. I wanted to find a way forward. I wanted to change your attitude and your feelings so you don’t view your penis or vagina in such a derogatory fashion.
However, I have found myself writing about self-esteem.
But maybe this is the point.
We are human beings. Mammals. Animals.
Except for you very special IVF babies out there, most us were created when a man’s penis entered a woman’s vagina during sexual intercourse. His semen fertilised her egg and entered her womb. All of us grew in a woman’s womb until we were born into the world.
We were born as individuals. Separate from our mother and father.
We were born with a vagina, or a penis, or both. They are actually quite miraculous and very interesting feats of amazing engineering. You can read ALL about them here on Wikipedia (it felt quite naughty typing penis and vagina into Wiki!)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vagina
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_penis
Maybe if we start loving the most personal and private parts of ourselves, we can find a way to love the rest of ourselves.
If you are an enlightened soul who already loves your vagina/penis, please ignore my ranting and accept my love. And maybe share your wisdom freely in the comments section below.
I now declare 20th April 2014 the Annual Worldwide Love Your Penis And Vagina Day!
I’m putting it in my diary and will get cards made up for next year that I can sell for an extortionate profit – lol!
Lots of love and blessings, Grace Savannah Thomas (formerly Joanna Perandin)
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